Memorial Day

Hello to all.  I just wanted to extend my thanks to all of the veterans and current military members out there.  Although I disagree with the politics of most wars, our troops must be kept separate from our polictics.  So to all of our members of the armed forces; those living, those retired, and those who have moved on to the next life, blessed be.  Thank you for all that you have done and all that you still do.

Now, on to my weekend…  It was a long kid-free one, for the most part.  Phoenix spent the weekend with my in-laws, and Katybug spent all day Saturday shopping with Grandma, and the rest of the weekend with her daddy.  Let’s have a round of applause for grandparents and the non-custodial parent weekend 😉  It is a license to actually have uninterrupted sex with your spouse both morning and night!  In between morning and night, more sex, of course, and a walk here and there.  Not to mention the search for roadside fresh fruit stands and the purchase of Venus Fly Traps just for the heck of it (and because Phoenix has been wanting one for a while).  I am feeling totally relaxed, and totally in love with my husband.  BTW- this weekend is the two year anniversary of him being over an hour late for our first date…  At least I can say that I knew what I was getting into!  If I didn’t enjoy beer so much, I would have been gone after thirty minutes that first night, but what the heck?  I was enjoying an ice cold beer in an air-conditioned bar, and kind of flirting with the guy at the other end.  I figured I might as well stick around…  I am sure glad I did, because the minute Chris walked in, I knew I was done flirting with the guy down by the jukebox, and every other guy in the world, for that point.  So… happy two year anniversary to mi “media naranja” (Other half, loosely translated from Spanish to English).  You may be a goof, but you are my goof, and I am glad. 

So, other updates…

The top-fill procedure in the gulf isn’t working, and so the ecological disasater proceeds unimpeded.  I hate petroleum, and the misery it continues to bring upon our world.

And now for something COMPLETELY different… 🙂 

I had the freakin’ weirdest dream last night… We (my husband, the kids, and I) were at a Memorial Day picnic at my aunt and uncle’s house.  All was proceeding as normal (or at least as normal as anything proceeds with my family), when all of a sudden Chris reminded me that we had to be at the bowling alley in thirty minutes for the kids’ bowling tournament that I knew nothing about.  It turned out that the bowling alley was more than 30 minutes away, so instead of driving there, Chris insisted we go by hot air balloon.  He also insisted that he knew how to fly one, and that there was a place close by to rent one.  After much protesting (“Chris, you have NEVER flown a hot air balloon!”   “I am TELLING you, Kim, it is totally EASY!”), I finally gave in.  We loaded my old car (the Saturn Vue) on the basket of the hot air balloon, along with all of the kids (my cousin Amy was not happy about this, but somehow her daughter Ashley ended up with us, anyway). Needless to say, we crashed into many buildings, which I had to push off of with my feet to keep the balloon on a safe course.  At some point, my husband said, “Wow- this thing actually goes a LOT faster than I thought it would!” Instead of landing in the bowling alley parking lot as we should have (according to Chris’s calculations), we somehow ended up in Ephrata.  There was yet another hot air balloon place there, and we were trying to talk them into renting us yet another balloon.   However, it appears that there was a hot air balloon hot-line out there that warned them not to rent anymore ballooning equipment to us, being as how we damaged the first balloon and basket beyond repair.  At this point, I was getting sick of Chris and his cockamaimee ideas, so I said, “Fuck it!  My car is in the basket of that balloon, and I have a GPS, so I can drive us home… ! We are never going to make the bowling tournament, anyway..”  At that point, I proceeded to ask a mutual friend to drive us home, in my car, using my Tom-Tom’s directions.  As an aside, my Tom-Tom gets me lost at LEAST weekly, usually on roads that are marked “NO maintenance!!! Drive at your own risk!!! Seriously, you are a total DUMBASS if you proceed…”  So my friend is driving faster and faster on these unmarked, unpaved back roads, just trying to get us home, and I notice a light up ahead that is shaped like a giant culvert opening…  I realize at this point that the sound of water rushing under us is becoming stronger and stronger, and yell out, “Stop!!!!!!” 

It was too late, and we crashed down into a freezing cold river of some sort.  All I could think of was to unroll the windows in the back seat so we could get the kids out before they drowned or froze to death.  We managed to get the windows open, and Katy, Phoenix and Ashley swam up toward us.  At this point, we noticed some shadows on the bank.  Me, being ever paranoid, kept shouting, “Are you hostiles???” “Are you hostiles???”  One of the shadows finally answered, “‘No, I’m not hostiles, my name is Anna.”  It turned out that she was also about six or seven years old. To make a long story short, she took us back to the campfire so the kids could warm up, and one of the parents pointed out that, even though we had managed to dredge the old Vue out of the drink, the engine was still detached from the body and covered in river weeds and sludge…  At that point we all realized that there was no way we were getting the kids to their bowling tournament on time, and Chris was in a panic, and insisting we flee the scene because we were going to get in trouble with the police.  I told him repeatedly that the license plate and VIN number on the VUE would give us away, so we may as well contact the police.  We proceeded to get into a big fight, at which point I actually willed myself to wake up.   I forced my eyes to open and saw the door to our bedroom, and my only thought before falling back to sleep was, “Oh, thank GOD!!!”  I am unsure how to interpret this dream, and am afraid to consult the teachings of Freud, for fear that the balloons and the vehicle rushing out of a wet opening might mean something that my psyche isn’t ready for, lol!

So adieu for now.  Here’s hoping for a lack of dreams of any sort tonight…

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About thenakedpagan

Boring... very boring. Soccer mom, nurse, excessive user of the ellipsis... see?
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3 Responses to Memorial Day

  1. prebigbanger says:

    Thank you for letting me be your goof !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. prebigbanger says:

    ok your dreams rock. If you wrote a book, I might actually read it. And, that’s a huge complement coming from a guy whose last novel was read in High School twenty years ago.

  3. prebigbanger says:

    I loved your blog. May it rest in peace.

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